With great Power comes Great Responsibility

Words have power. And it’s a power that some of us wield unaware of the effect it has on ourselves and on the people around us.

Over the past two weeks of Parents-Teachers Meeting, I had a few parents come up to me and ‘complain’ that their child has had less-than-flattering words used upon them. And in a little over-the-breakfast discussion with some teachers in the pantry this morning it seems that we all can benefit from a little reflection on this topic.

One thing I am deeply convincted: none of us should ever say hurtful things just because we are emotional. This is a loss in control. It is a lame excuse. Especially in the context of teacher-students relationship, it causes the students to lose respect in the teacher.

On the other hand, teachers are human too. The genuine concern they have wrt their students’ learning drive them to be angry and even emotional. Some teachers are even more anxious over their students’ results than the students themselve! There a chinese saying that goes: The deeper the love, the more servere the reprimand. Just because the teachers use harsh words on  you does not mean that they dun care.

We all have responsibility to control what words come out from out lips AS WELL AS what we tell ourselves internally. If we tell ourselves that we are lousy, then we feel lousy; if we say that today is going to be a bad day, we will feel sucky the whole day!

So in this period of high stress tell yourselves these things:

I CAN DO IT!!

DON’T GIVE UP!!

PRESS ON!!

And… remember to rest!

 

It’s over!!!!! :(

The really irritating thing about holidays is that it always passess so quickly!!

I had problems waking up early for work and always find myself sleepy during work time. Even coffee does not help! So in some way i am glad that there is MYCT to give me time to ease back into the work schedule. Thou i know some of you will kill me as you are all stressed up over the MYCT.

Jiayou guys! As much as the MYCT is an official exams do not get too stressed up over it.

To the dear JC1s: This is your FIRST major exams in your JC life so do cut yourself some slack. Dun fret if you dun do as well as you would like. Some ppl take more time than others to settle down in this new system.

To my dear JC2s: Take this as a time practice. Its ok even if you dun do well here coz there will be sufficient time and opportunities to help you get ready for the A levels. If you get too stressed up now then it might not be too healthy as you still have a few months to the As. Dun wanna break down now right? But if you need help to manage your time or to work something out to better prep yourself for the As, pls seek help either from me or your tutors! Its nothing to be shy about!!

 

Being Alone

I decided that in this holiday I am going to do somethings alone! You may ask “WHY?!?!” Well, no specific reason. Just felt that in today’s society it is RARE for u to be able to do anything alone. It can be pretty therapeutic to be alone to do your own things or to just slow down. Being alone means you walk the speed u want to, not trying to match others or worse catch up.

I have never been bothered about being alone. I can eat alone, go shopping alone etc. I dun quite understand how people go swimming together.. i mean… how to talk??! Blurp blurp blurp??? Anyways.. these are some of the ‘alone’ things that I am planning to do:

1. Go swimming.

2. Watch a movie.

3. Go for a jog at ECP.

4. Go walk walk at Orchard to check out all the new shopping malls like ION, Somerset@313.

I also find that if you can’t stand doing things alone, it makes it pretty difficult coz you will eventually find situations that you will be alone. Its not always possible to have someone accompany you all the time. I also link this ability to be alone as reflection of your inner world. Are you comfortable in your own skin? Are you secure enough to be alone, not being part of any social group?

To be fair, we humans are not meant to be alone; at the same time we cannot over-rely on the people around us. Sometimes it’s precisely we are too reliant on the people around us that our friendships turn sour. Think about it: who wants a needy person for a friend? It literally sucks the life out of you! It actually takes a secure and confident person to have meaningful friendships that are healthy and have clear boundaries. This actually makes the friendship more mutally benefitial and it lasts longer too!!

When was the last time you did something on your own? Take some time out to do it! Learn to enjoy spending time with yourself! Learn to love just being by yourself!

So what movie should i watch??? Hmmmmm……………………………………….

 

Dun be a 2nd class somebody.

Many of us have an idol, someone we look up to. We would often wish that we would have the same talent, be able to do the same things or say the same things the same way. We would aspire to be like that person most often because they are a representation of who we are not and who we want to be.

Like the fingers on your hand which are all different in length and function, we are all different and have different talents. Only when all the fingers are clenched together into a fist can it bring impact.

There is only one YOU in this world with the unique set of skills that only you have. In trying to be someone else that you are not will only make it such that you do not acheive the fullest potential that you have. No matter how hard we try we will only at best be a 2nd-class Tom, Dick or Harry. But if we focus on what we have and who we are, and pursue excellence in that we become a first-class David or Peter!

Stop trying to be someone else and be satisfied with being 2nd-class; make use of the unique skillsets that you have to be the 1st-class person that you are meant to be!

 

I wonder…

Would people come if I organize a Boardgames Night to destress and just have fun?

During week 3 of June holidays?
After MCTs?
Once a month?

Ppl reading this… Comment and let me know if you wld come!

 

It’s coming to an end!!

Phew! I am so glad that the term is coming an end! It has been such a hectic term 2. This is what i had to do:

1. Finish 38 classes of civics talk on Stress and Time Management in 4 weeks.

2. Prepare and complete 5 lesson for civics elective on X-factor for Success!

3. Meet students for counselling.

It may seem like not a lot of hours but it took more effort than i thought! For one the civics elective caused me so much stress that I wun sleep well every Monday night! But I thank God that it is complete and i think most of the students benefitted from it…. thou it was tough not be able to share with them openly the key… that He needs to be at the centre of all that belief. Oh well.. i am sure that some of them will be blessed!

It just occured to me that there are so many changes happening around me. The change in ministry was one big thing coz it meant that i had to move out of my comfort zone so as to be more effective, but it also meant having less time with my bros. Miss Xiong so much that i cant wait for him to come back in July.

On a brighter note, visit to the gynea was totally positive! Doc said:’ Appitite bad is good!’ It was the funniest and yet most comforting thing i have heard the whole day! I have been so worried about XR (my wife)’s appitite, her constant nausea and her ever changing taste for things. Have also been doing some financial planning and realised that buying a car thou more convinient would put a strain on us and we would have to forgo some luxuries in our lifestyle eg. Jap meals. So decided to shelf plans to buy a car… good thing since prices are sky high at the moment.

Today as i finished the 2nd last class for the stress and time management talk. Thou happy i also felt a tinge of sadness that my time connecting with the students have come to an end. I realised how much i enjoy talking to them. Thou i was tired most of the time (except for a few occasions) i felt energetic once i face them. I LOVE MY JOB! Guess the saying is true: If you can combine your job with your interest, you will never have to work for the rest of you life!

I am so looking forward to the holidays coz i can sleep late! wahaha.. need to catch up on some sleep.

 

Choosing to love what appears to be Unlovable

Hi there! Just broadcasted this blog to some students so better update!

Anyway it has been quite a killer 3 weeks since I last posted. So many things! Time fly by so quickly that I barely had time to sit down and reflect on things. And this is how life is: hectic and forgetable IF you dun make a consciencious effort to note things down, reflect and learn from them.

Had an emotional day yesterday. Partly due to tiredness and party due to being overwhelmed with many things lately in all aspects of my life. Had a student show me attitude over the phone on Monday night and then when things just got all messy on Tues it just crossed the line. If I could I would have just head home to settle myself down but it was not the case. So had a little drama with the students during the civics elective lessons.

I really struggled to find it in me at that moment to look at all the students and believe that they can be special, especially when I was drained emotionally and my experiences with some of their peers. Honestly I find my positive regard for them challenged. So imagine my pleasant surprise when after the lesson i received 1 sms and 2 students who came up to me to encourage me. At that moment I felt a glimmer of hope. A hope that there IS hope for the next generation! That they are not as bad as they sometimes erroneously portray themselves to be! That we are mistaken about them!!

I still had to sort out my raw emotions about the people that I am serving. It was a battle of my own rights to be respected and my desire to love them and serve them. In the midst of my reflections a question kept appearing: Why did I have to go through all these?

Then a small voice in me said: “What value is there to love the lovable?”

Then I understood. In order for me to be effective as a counsellor I needed to learn how to love those who appear unlovable. It may not be their fault that they exhibit such behaviour, but unless someone tells them in love, they will never change; if we do not choose to believe in them then they may never believe in themselves either. It has to be a conscious choice to look beyond the behaviour and see the potential.

To those who sees this (eventually), I just want to say that I choose to believe in you! So dun give up on yourself!!

 

Look before you leap less you end up chest-deep in hurt!

“Good looks attracts the eyes but a good character attracts the heart.” – Unknown author

 

Almost all of us desire to bask in the light of love, and having that wonderful feeling that nothing can go wrong to spoil the moment with that special someone. Too bad life isn’t a movie directed by Hollywood. In my 3 years plus in AJ I have had the opportunity to speak to quite a few people who were facing BGR problems. And it always breaks my heart to know how flippantly the youths of today fall into hurtful relationships. Know the phrase practice makes perfect? Well, it does not apply to BGRs… it just makes us bitter with hurt and disappointments. Anyway practice makes a habit, it does not mean its perfect.

Yesterday my wife and I celebrated our 3 years of being together. We got married on 3 Oct 2009. We had know each other for about 2 years before we started dating. It was not all smooth sailing from day 1. As a matter of fact I did things that almost it impossible for us to be together. By the grace of God our paths crossed after a period of hiatus and I guess the rest is history?

We have very different characters. This means there’s a lot of opportunities for conflicts but it also means that we can learn a lot from each other. We spur each other to grow and are sharpened in the process.

People always say to look for the perfect one… the Mr Right or Ms Right. But have you thought of this, that just as you are looking for that perfect one, you also need to be the perfect one for that somebody who is searching for you?

How ‘right’ are you now? The most asked question I get with regards to BGR is: When is the right time for me to start a relationship? My answer is that is it not a matter of time. It depends on a few factors like stage in life, ability to commit and availability of time etc. What is most important to note, is that the decision to enter into a relationship or not is NOT a purely emotional decision. It needs to be well thought through.

Some questions to ponder:

1. What are the qualities I am looking for in a Mr Right/Ms Right?

2. In my current stage of life can I deal with the ups and downs of a relationship?

3. Am I emotionally stable enough to handle having someone in my life?

4. What kind of a person compliments me?

A relationship is not all sweet; it takes effort and hard work. Yesterday my wife took half day off to prep dinner for us. She isn’t a very good cook and it took a lot of effort and courage to cook for me because I cook better than her. She prepared steak for me coz she knows I like beef and even went to buy baked potato to make the mean authentic. It was a wonderful dinner not because the food was fantastic, but because it was done with love and I know the heart behind it. She fell asleep after dinner on the sofa, showing how much it took out of her to prep the meal.

Steak for me, Chicken for her.Cheers to 3 beautiful years!

Don’t be so blinded by the all the lovery dovey that you forget about the hard work! Don’t allow your heart to cause you to make a decision you will regret! It’s one-third heart two-thirds head. Guard your emotions and your heart coz with more hurts your heart grows sceptical and bitter, making it more difficult to believe in love. And trust that the right one will come when the time is right.

 

The way up is down!

Wow! Time really flies! Before I knew it is has already been almost 2 weeks since I last posted. Wondering if anyone has chanced upon this blog?? Heehee…

Was away at the JC1 Resilience Workshop at Labrador Adventure Centre on 29 & 30 Apr. It was nice to be back at LAC. After attending the AB Camps for the past two years this place has become like our little playground. Sad that this year we wun be coming back to LAC. Glad I could spend 2 days here!!

The JC1s looked generally excited abt it thou I wonder if they were excited abt the days program or just the they need not attend classes! Nevertheless we all made our way there in buses. Reminds me of army!

The day was filled with activities like structured activities as well as challenges on both the low and high elements. One of the activities that caught my eye was this that involved post cards. Objective of the activities was to build a structure as high as possible. Each group tried their best to come up with best design they could. Some showed promise as being architects while for some… Eh…. They should think of something else! Haha!

After a while, when we all thought we were done, instructions came for the groups to move to the structure on their right! Moans and cheers can be hear depending on which structure they moved to!

 

Some group immediately tried to add on to the structure while some just basked in their glory, sure that they would win. After some time, they were asked to move again!!! This time some were showing signs of frustrations. Some just gave up thinking: what’s the point of building if you are not sure if it would stay your structure?

   

Soon the activity was brought to a close and the trainer brought the students through their debrief points.

Seeing the activities reminded me of this: There is no shortcut to success! Being trained as a civil engineer has taught me that higher you want to build your skyscraper, the deeper your foundations have to be. Some people look for that elusive or at best temporal route to success, only to be disappointed and have everything taken away in an instant. Then what happens? They live their remainding lives in mediocracy, frightened by that failure to never dare to reach for success again.

What kind of success are you looking for?  We all have different definitions of success. To be successful we all first have to go deep to know what we are made of and to learn the lessons that the school of life has to offer. What comes easily in life isn’t always important, but the important things in life never come easy! So don’t give up! Press on in the face of difficulties so that it will build character, an essential ingredient to stay successful.

 

 “Courage is to move from failure to failure without losing enthusiasm” 

Sir Winston Churchill

 

Hello!

Hi people!! Here I am, after pondering over this for almost a year, finally embarking on this blog. Was a bit apprehensive coz worried that it would die a natural death like my other blog. But guess with the added ease of being able to blog from my phone it should help to keep it alive!

Why do I want to start this blog? Many reason actually. One is so that I have another platform to communicate with you guys (AJ students) as well as provide another conduit which I can gather feedback from.

Another reason is so that I can model what responsible blogging is all abt. You may think that my ego is like huge, but being a victim before of irresponsible blogging in the past has sort of given me a desire to see blogs being used for encouragement and good rather than as an avenue for venting and bitching.

So here we go!